beach camping.

Waking up this Sunday morning to the smell of fresh air, the sound of splashing waves and not single thing on my to-do list is a gift from God. I recognize that so clearly. I struggle a bit with trying to understand how I deserve to see the things I've seen, but I know it is earned and guilt-free happiness. Whether it is something I've done or mother has done or something my ancestors have done, I know it is an earned experience. Standing on the shoreline, I began to think about my elementary-aged self. I began to think about my siblings, and how far my mom has brought us. I guess that the effect the ocean has on you. It makes you feel your true size.

I've been meeting a lot of new people from different countries and different family structures. I was sitting alone on the beach, when a couple of foreigners came over toting a soccer ball. When you see English speakers-you speak, its a rarity. So, we engaged in conversation. Turns out they were from Canada. They had been friends since high school and have been living in South Korea for a few years. I mostly listened to them banter with each other and comically quote lines from The Matrix. We did touch on what brought us here and what we left back home. It's always interesting to hear those stories. Since being here, I met people from New Zealand to South Africa and from London to Australia. Each story is unique, but with a likeness to curiosity and adventure. Oddly, meeting such a diverse group of people is helping me validate who I am. I can be socially-awkward. I'm always aware of how much I should share of myself. Luckily, it hasn't stopped me from putting myself out there. Internally, I have been reminiscing a lot on my upbringing. It's easy to forget that my siblings and I are first-generation college graduates. My father was dealing with life in California, while my mom worked tirelessly to meet all of our needs. I've been having specific memories of the apartment we grew up in and staying over at my Grandma Heavy's place. As specific as sitting on my calves against my grandma's wall, peeling an orange and watching her sip coffee from her saucer. I don't quite know what it all means or what I'm suppose to take from it. I'm guessing I'm in the process of something. I just know my spirit is extra sensitive to all the gifts life has been granting me. I accept it all with gratitude.

I know I'm still the timid, yet brave- - curious, yet careful little girl who still doesn't like to get her hair combed. It feels good to be reconnected.

 

I love you to peace.

Ebony K. Ross